I had an interesting discussion today with a gay friend today regarding a picture he had posted that asks the question “So same-sex couples don’t make good parents?” Then proceeds to answer the question by asking, “When was the last time a gay couple disowned their child for being straight?”
Aside from the glaring logical fallacies in the argument, it addresses what ought to be the central focus of the gay “marriage” discussion…children. (See the discussion in its entirety here.)
My only question was, “Which parent is unnecessary for the raising of children?” To which I never received a direct answer.
The primary premise of my argument was that the traditional family unit with a male AND a female parent is the foundation of civilization. If a male and a female are both needed for procreation they are also both needed for parenting. The response to this argument that my friend seemed to settle on was that no parents are necessary because cloning is not just a possibility but will eventually be the reality. Apparently, since cloning requires no parents, the children of the clone also require no parents.
Prior to the cloning argument, was the “it takes a village” argument. However, villages/communities/civilizations are outgrowths of the family. No civilization would exist if not for a male and female parent producing children, and more male and female children producing more children.
The experiment with the family that has been conducted over the past 30+ years with no-fault divorce has shown that “the decline of two-parent, married-couple families has resulted in poverty, ill-health, educational failure, unhappiness, anti-social behavior, isolation and social exclusion for thousands of woman, men and children.” 1 By the way, that experiment was conducted in one of the greatest “communities” in the history of the world, these United States of America, and it has still failed.
Gay “marriage” advocates argue, without evidence, that parents are either unnecessary or interchangeable. The false assumption is that the male and female of the species offer nothing unique to children. Robert Oscar Lopez, a self-declared bi-sexual, argues against gay marriage because of the negative impact on the children forced into these “families”. Like Lopez, Dawn Stefanowicz was raised by homosexual parents and staunchly opposes gay marriage.
When it comes to personal, sexual gratification, homosexual activists clearly recognize the difference between the sexes. But when it comes to the more important priority of child rearing, they completely dismiss and ignore these differences. The adults get what they want while the children have to take what they are given. Does this seem backwards to anyone else?
WhateverForeverAmen 
“My only question was, “Which parent is unnecessary for the raising of children?” To which I never received a direct answer.”
To raising a children how?
Your implication is that men and women each have unique roles that cannot be changed, and it is necessary that a child be raised by parents who fit those roles.
I don’t accept that implication.
If your goal is to raise a child with the same feelings towards gender roles as you have, then yes, a mother and father with those gender roles are required.
If you don’t have that particular goal, it is unnecessary.
That is not the goal.
So, are you arguing that there is no difference between the male and female of the species when it comes to parenting?
Nope. I’m saying there are lots of differences. More than 2 differences. There isn’t just ‘male’ and ‘female’, when it comes to how parents act like parents. There are hundreds (maybe thousands) of different variations.
Not all variations result in positive outcomes for the child, of course. But more than 1 does. And gay parents fall into those variations, both positive and negative, quite easily.
You falsely equate differences in individual personality traits with differences in gender traits. You are denying the uniqueness between the male and female of the gender.
I am denying that the uniqueness is as all-encompassing as you think it is, yes. But you seem to be stuck on ‘traditional’ gender roles. And I don’t value those roles higher than others just because they’re traditional.
These gender roles are not just traditional, they are naturally occurring within our species. These differences are biological, psychological, physiological. These differences in gender roles have been largely and generally standard across history and cultures. Western, eastern and aboriginal societies have all displayed these gender roles. There are very slight variations, but the general rule is very consistent.
“These gender roles are not just traditional, they are naturally occurring within our species.”
Given modern history, apparently not.
They have been perpetuated by the patriarchal culture we have had up to this point.
Name one thing that a mother can do, once the child is born, that a father cannot do.
The only thing I can think of is breast feeding, but the studies are undecided if that has any long-term psychological impact, and a percentage of women are unable to breast feed anyway.
So please, tell me. What does a child get from a mother that they cannot get from a father? Or vice versa?
The obvious one, as you mentioned, is breast feeding. In the words of the prophet Jack Byrnes, “I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” Research has shown that breast-feeding offers unique physiological and psychological protections to an infant.
It has been shown that the absence of a mother in infancy places a child at risk for attachment disorder. So, apparently there is something that the mother-child relationship creates during the developmental process.
Likewise, the absence of a father places boys at risk for delinquency and girls at risk for early sexual activity. Thus the father (the male) contributes to the development of children in ways a mother (the female) cannot.
As I stated in the article, we have 30+ years of evidence that shows the importance of the presence of a biological mother and father in the life of the child. I don’t think taking that experiment to the next level with homosexual parenting is necessary or wise.
Do you think a masculine female could contribute to child rearing the developmental traits generally contributed by a dad? And visa versa, do you think a feminine male could contribute to child rearing the developmental traits generally contributed by a mom?
“Research has shown that breast-feeding offers unique physiological and psychological protections to an infant. ”
I would have to double check that. My wife is actually a pediatrician and seems to think that there is no distinct benefit of breast feeding. It’s not unhealthy to do it, but there’s nothing gained through it that can’t be gained by other means.
“It has been shown that the absence of a mother in infancy places a child at risk for attachment disorder.”
Define what you mean by a mother. And what do the studies show. Is a mother specifically a female presence, or a semi-constant presence by a parent? When my wife and I have children I will be the stay at home parent. Is it your opinion that my child will suffer because I’m not female?
What can my wife do that I can’t?
“Likewise, the absence of a father places boys at risk for delinquency and girls at risk for early sexual activity.”
Wrong. The absence of a parent that encourages aspects of a child that would make delinquency less likely, or early sexual activity less likely, increases those risks.
Again, what aspects are you defining as ‘father’ and what about them can only be presented by a male, not a female?
“As I stated in the article, we have 30+ years of evidence that shows the importance of the presence of a biological mother and father in the life of the child.”
We have 30+ years of evidence that shows the patriarchal model perpetuates the patriarchal model. That isn’t, by itself, a negative. But there are other models that aren’t any worse than the patriarchal model, and we have studies showing children raised by lesbian parents might even do better.
“Do you think a masculine female could contribute to child rearing the developmental traits generally contributed by a dad?”
Are we defining things but what is ‘generally’ done, or by what is good and beneficial versus what is harmful?
As long as it isn’t harmful, I don’t care what is ‘generally’ done.